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Introduction or: a brisk summer breeze and fishing in the pond

Every summer as a child, my parents would send me to stay with my grandma in Charleston, South Carolina. It was during one of these summers, when I was around nine years old, that I met a boy who quickly became one of my closest friends. He lived just three yards away from my grandma, behind a huge pond with an ever-flowing fountain. And when I say “yards,” I mean literal yards, not the unit of measurement. I would walk through those same yards to get to his house, much to the annoyance of their owners. We would often fish in the pond behind his house, but I never caught anything. I was always lousy at fishing as I didn’t have the patience for it. On the other hand, my friend was very good at it – he was good at a great number of things. He would always release the fish back into the pond, “catch and release” he would call it. On one occasion, he accidentally left a hook in a fish’s mouth before releasing it. I remember this vividly because someone else caught the exact same fish, hook and all, later that summer, right in front of my friend and me.

My grandma still lives in the same house. I still visit there often. Not much has changed, which helps ensure I don’t forget these little things.

My summer-friend was far more athletic and charming than myself. He was very interested in outdoor endeavors, while I was, and still am, a more reclusive, indoors-oriented person. He had many friends in the neighborhood, most of whom I did not get along with due to my “strange” disposition. Despite our differences, we were both sharp and like-minded in many ways, and we both enjoyed playing computer games. I had unfettered access to all types of computer games, which could be considered questionable parenting, while he was on a much tighter leash and lived vicariously through me when it came to gaming. Every summer, I would come to Charleston with new games, and he would be fascinated with them, often coming over just to watch me play for hours.

During the summer of 2001, my summer-friend’s friend lent me their Game Boy Camera to “play with for the week,” and I subsequently traded it at the local Babbages for in-store credit. Babbages was like a proto-GameStop. Looking back, I have no idea what I was thinking; it was a bad idea. I wasn’t the nicest kid in the world, and I didn’t particularly like the girl who lent me the Game Boy Camera to begin with. Later, after a series of dramas, my grandma and I had to return to that same Babbages, repurchase the Game Boy Camera, and return it to its rightful owner – a story my summer-friend still tells to this day.

These events are significant because thanks to that in-store credit, I was able to purchase a used copy of Final Fantasy 7. At the time, my ten-year-old brain was drawn to the spiky-haired guy holding a big sword on the cover. Throughout the remainder of that summer, I spent countless nights playing Final Fantasy 7, and looking back, I realize this game played a pivotal role in shaping my current gaming preferences.

*The same 2001 copy of Final Fantasy 7, purchased with dirty in-store credit (it’s missing disc 2)

It’s funny how such a careless action on my part would eventually result in a lifelong passion for oversized swords, messy hair, and, most importantly, Japanese role-playing games. Despite being a bad decision at the time, trading that girl’s Game Boy Camera for in-store credit ultimately led to some positive outcomes.

I wonder, if my younger self were given the power to turn back time and rewrite history, would I still make the same decision to trade in a borrowed Game Boy Camera for in-store credit or would I erase the whole situation to avoid the shame and subsequent verbal lashing from my grandmother, and in doing so, repair my relationship with the kind girl who had lent me the camera in the first place? What would I be doing now if I hadn’t played Final Fantasy 7 that fateful summer? Would I be obsessed with the Madden series instead, or something equally as dull? Maybe I would be making seven figures as the CEO of a successful company instead of writing this article? Perhaps I would have been hit by a car while riding my bike in 2018? I guess we will never know.

How is this related to Tactics Ogre? Well, having played Final Fantasy 7 in 2001, I was inclined to play anything with the name Final Fantasy on it. In the summer of 2004, the Game Boy Advance was all the rage, and having saved up my allowance, I purchased Final Fantasy Tactics Advance by virtue of brand-name and cover art alone. Oddly enough, that same summer, my friend picked Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis with his allowance money. We played both games in tandem that summer. He often suggested that I give his game a try, claiming it was fantastic, and I would occasionally glance at his screen and notice how similar it looked to what I was playing. However, as the contrarian that I was (and arguably still am), I believed that Final Fantasy Tactics Advance was the better game and that I, with my superior gaming wisdom, had made the better choice. I had no need to play Tactics Ogre.

Due to this left over contrarianism from 2004, I was always hesitant to play the Ogre Battle series. Little did I know at the time, Tactics Ogre was created by the same team that later went on to create the Final Fantasy Tactics series. The original developer, Quest Corporation, was absorbed by Square in 2002 and renamed Square Product Development Division 4. Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis was their last official game as Quest Corporation, having made the original Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen in 1993 and its sequel Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together in 1995, both for the Super Nintendo and both named after Queen songs. Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together would later be remade for the PlayStation Portable in 2010 and then re-released again as Tactics Ogre: Reborn for multiple consoles, the final version being the one covered in this article.

*Two great GBA games battle for the attention of two 13-year-old kids

In conclusion, it turns out my friend was playing an older game that could be seen as the spiritual precursor to what I was playing that summer. Would this additional knowledge have made a difference to thirteen year old me? Would I have been more open to my friend’s recommendation? Probably not. However, one thing is certain: if I could turn back time and try Tactics Ogre: The Knight of Lodis back then like my friend had suggested, I would have gotten into the Ogre Battle series much earlier than, well, a month ago. Perhaps my entire gaming history would be different?

Plot or: choices choices choices

Tactics Ogre: Reborn is a remake of Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together, and it doesn’t deviate much from the original game’s plot. The player assumes the role of a young man named Denam Pavel who travels the islands of Valeria in an attempt to end the seemingly endless power struggles by unifying the multiple warring factions; eventually leading an army of his own to make this dream a reality. Valeria is split by multiple factions vying for control of the islands, such as the Walister, the Galgastani, the Bakram, and the Dark Knights Loslorien, to name a few. Denam’s journey is marked by numerous decisions that shape the future of Valeria, for better or worse.

*Denam, the map of Valeria, and the crests of warring factions

Prior to the events of the game, Denam resided in the town of Golyat with his sister Catiua and closest friend Vyce. They led peaceful lives until the Dark Knights Loslorien swept through, brutally massacring most of the town. As a result, Vyce lost his family, and Denam’s father was kidnapped, igniting a burning desire for revenge within our three main characters. This culminates in our heroes planning retribution against the Dark Knights and eventually joining the Walister Resistance, a group fighting against the Dark Knights, to further this goal.

The Walister Resistance consists of people who identify themselves as Walister, a “race” of people that inhabit the region around Golyat. Although they are categorized as a separate race within the game’s fiction, they appear and sound much like every other race of people in Valeria. In Tactics Ogre, the concept of race is more akin to nationality than any physical characteristics, and this idea plays a significant role in several of the game’s overarching themes. For instance, despite their similarities, the races are still constantly warring and killing each other, but why? Something we’ll get into later.

Under the shrewd leadership of Duke Ronwey, the Walister Resistance professes to seek only the end of the occupation of their territories by the Dark Knights and Galgastan. However, their real objective is to attain power and claim the entire land of Valeria. It remains uncertain whether Denam, Vyce, and Catiua share the Walister’s nationalist agenda, as their primary motivation is revenge against the Dark Knights, but they are more than willing to tag along killing those who oppose the Walister Resistance unquestionably, at least early on.

The Dark Knights Loslorien, the Kingdom of Galgastan, and the Bakram have formed a tentative alliance to suppress the Walister resistance, with all factions ultimately vying for control over the islands of Valeria. As one can imagine, this creates a politically complex situation, as all alliances in Valeria exist on a razor’s edge. Denam fights alongside Duke Ronwey’s resistance until a rift develops between him and Vyce due to objections with the Duke’s methods, ultimately revealing the fragility of their friendship. This conflict marks a crucial turning point in the game’s narrative, and the player’s choices at this intersection determine the ultimate fate of Valeria.

*Denam, about to make a very important choice

Tactics Ogre is the type of game where you seemingly make all the right choices but your entire family still ends up brutally murdered. These choices are a fundamental aspect of what makes the game’s plot so captivating. There are three primary routes determined by choices you make throughout the game: chaos, law, and neutral – similar in nature to the Shin Megami Tensei series. Each route unfolds differently, dictating who joins your resistance, who perishes, and ultimately how the story ends. In each route, numerous smaller choices impact less significant events. Therefore, even the most mundane choices have significant consequences, often leading to decisions made long ago returning to haunt you.

Tactics Ogre stands out from other role-playing games due to the absence of clear “good” and “bad” endings, as each plot-thread was given equal care and consideration by the writing team. Additionally, all choices within the game are somewhat ambiguous – what may seem like the morally righteous decision at the time can lead to dire consequences later on. As a result, players may encounter numerous “what the @#$%” moments as they witness the aftermath of their seemingly righteous choices.

Tactics Ogre’s ambiguous choices have a downside in that they can prevent access to certain characters and sidequests. For instance, in the early stages of the game, I wanted to recruit a certain cool character, so I made what seemed like an obvious choice to align myself with her side. However, as a consequence of that choice, she immediately died. Conversely, if you make the opposite choice, that character will hate you, and you’ll need to make a series of correct choices going forward to persuade her to join your cause. None of this can be deduced simply by playing the game as is, which is why a guide is essential if you want to unlock all the game has to offer.

While I am usually of the opinion that a guide should not be necessary to fully experience everything a game has to offer, the uncertain nature of Tactics Ogre’s choices can be exhilarating at times. Watching the unforeseen consequences of your decisions unfold can be an enjoyable experience, even if they occasionally result in unsatisfactory outcomes. This helps reinforce one of the game’s primary themes, that of loss and regret – the notion of “if only I could go back and do it all over again.”

*Introducing the World Tarot

But don’t fret – you can go back and do it all over again! To further add to the game’s complexity, Tactics Ogre: Reborn incorporates a unique time travel system, known as the World Tarot, which enables players to revisit previous points in time and make different choices, effectively rewriting history. This allows players to explore alternate paths and outcomes, and a substantial portion of the game’s endgame is dedicated to utilizing this feature to recruit previously missed characters and observe the various consequences of different decisions.

The themes of regret and consequence are central to Tactics Ogre’s narrative, and the time travel aspect reinforces these themes by providing the player with a glimpse of what could have been – oftentimes, the results are equally as dire. However, the brilliance of this system lies in its optional nature; the game never forces you to use the time travel mechanics, allowing your choices to remain as permanent as you desire. It’s akin to save-scumming, just more sophisticated.

With that in mind, my recommendation on a first playthrough is to play completely blind. Even if you don’t get all the characters or outcomes you would like, you can always rewrite history.

Themes or: ruminations on resentment, regret, and retribution

In Chapter 4 of Tactics Ogre, a little girl is shot in the back with an arrow and dies instantly; a random act of violence highlighting the game’s dark tone; sometimes bordering on Berserk-levels of chaos. Tactics Ogre harnesses this darkness to explore weighty themes concerning human nature, power, friendship, envy, chaos, regret, and war; also delving into philosophical concepts such utilitarian ethics. The game challenges players to reflect on its themes and arrive at their own conclusions without imposing a specific message; and in line with the game’s intent, I will attempt to do that.

Envy serves as a potent driving force behind human motivation in the game’s narrative. The deadly sins of greed, envy, and pride are exemplified most in the character Vyce, Denam’s childhood friend. Through the interactions between Denam and Vyce, their long and storied history is revealed. However, despite their long friendship, Vyce always maintains a slightly holier-than-thou attitude when speaking with Denam and tends to adopt a tone of mockery around him.

Denam’s upbringing was filled with love and attention from his caring father. In contrast, Vyce was raised solely by his abusive and alcoholic father. Vyce frequently references this difference, revealing his envy towards Denam’s favorable circumstances. Additionally, Vyce hints at his love for Denam’s sister, Catiua, and drops subtle clues that he feels jealous of the attention she lavishes on Denam, while ignoring him completely. Despite initially viewing Denam as a role model of sorts, Vyce’s perception of him shifted at some point, morphing into envy and resentment instead.

Early in the game’s plot, Denam is tasked with committing a village massacre to advance the Walister agenda. The slaughter is to be disguised as a Galgastani attack to help rally the local villages to the Walister cause. Denam has a choice: either comply with this plan or refuse and be branded a traitor, thus risking the blame for the massacre and losing all ties with the resistance. If Denam refuses to carry out the slaughter, Vyce scolds him, accusing him of being a traitor and betraying the Walister cause; Vyce argues that Denam should “see the big picture” and declares him his mortal enemy. Conversely, if Denam agrees to the slaughter, Vyce still scolds him, labels him a murderer, and claims they are mortal enemies. In both cases, Vyce appears to be taking the moral high ground over Denam.

*Vyce has no real principles

Upon examining both outcomes of Denam’s decision, it becomes apparent that Vyce’s opposition is not based on genuine principles, but is rather an excuse to assert his dominance over him, driven by feelings of insecurity. Vyce conceals his true envious motivations, using the situation as an excuse to justify his long-felt jealousy and hatred toward Denam. This envy alone drives his behavior, nothing else. In the “chaos” route, during Denam and Vyce’s final confrontation, Vyce even admits to this, confessing his jealousy towards Denam outright, including his upbringing, kind-hearted nature, athletic ability, and relationship with Catiua.

The relationship between Vyce and Denam captured my attention since I have experienced similar emotions of envy towards my own friends, specifically jealousy towards their perceived superiority in certain aspects of life when compared to myself. For example, my summer-friend was more athletic and popular than I was. My high-school friend could play multiple instruments and was motivated enough to complete college. Why can’t I be like them? It’s easy to play the victim instead of examining your own faults and improving yourself. Vyce’s behavior reminded me of what I might do if I succumbed to the darker facets of my own personality. Ultimately, I saw myself in Vyce; and that’s a tad bit scary.

Denam opting to spare the lives of innocent people is undoubtedly a morally correct decision. However, if he were to choose to carry out the massacre instead, Vyce’s opposition to this act would place him in the morally superior position. This situation raises an ethical quandary because Vyce’s motivation for opposing the massacre is purely driven by his envy for Denam. Therefore, he opposes the slaughter only out of contrarianism, not because it would be the morally righteous course of action. This presents an intriguing dilemma in which individuals can inadvertently do good deeds, even if their initial motivations stem from a negative place; begging the question, does motivation really matter or are outcomes the only important thing to consider when evaluating a situation?

*Trolley Problem: Reborn

Arguably the game’s most important theme is moral ambiguity, and this is illustrated in almost every scene. It also raises questions around utilitarian ethics. For instance, in the previous example of the town massacre, ironically, the decision that results in better overall outcomes for our main characters is the slaughter of innocent townspeople. This raises an interesting point that morally reprehensible acts can sometimes lead to overall positive outcomes. It’s like a hyper-utilitarian game of chess or the trolley problem, where the question is whether slaughtering an entire village now could save hundreds of people later; but how could anyone ever truly know that? In Vyce’s situation, even though he has no real principles, his hatred and drive to kill Denam could inadvertently save a village full of people; he’s acting out a version of the trolley problem that he’s not even aware of.

Tactics Ogre constantly reminds the player that despite Denam’s pure motives, he is still taking lives and imposing his moral philosophy on the lands of Valeria, much like the factions he fights against. This begs the question: how is Denam’s resistance any different from the Galgastani or the Bakram? Ultimately, all parties seek to end war and rule over Valeria; they simply use different ethical frameworks to justify how they achieve this result. After all, every would-be conqueror believes they are doing what’s right. Even the Dark Knights of Lodis, arguably the most morally reprehensible faction in the game, seem to grasp this concept, their leader often using it to justify their survival-of-the-fittest philosophy.

Expanding on the theme of moral ambiguity is the concept of the “ogre,” which is referenced throughout the narrative. While the game’s lore features a historical “Ogre Battle” between humans and ogres, the term “ogre” in the context of the story refers to the idea of doing monstrous things to achieve one’s goals. Denam is repeatedly asked whether he has the wherewithal to “become like the ogre” in order to achieve his vision, or in other words, if he is willing to do whatever it takes for the betterment of Valeria. This concept permeates the narrative, adding another layer of complexity to the game’s exploration of morality, raising questions about the cost of achieving one’s goals and the limits of acceptable behavior in pursuit of a noble cause.

* The Ogre Battle rages on

The question of why people go to war is one that Tactics Ogre does not attempt to answer, but it certainly raises thought-provoking questions and provides some clues. Despite the existence of multiple races in Valeria that share similar appearances and cultures, the factions still engage in conflicts that are obviously not based on race or nationality directly, even though the faction leaders may say otherwise; it would be easy to unify Valeria if those were the only points of contention. In my view, two primary motives underlie these wars: revenge and moral sunk cost.

The first reason is simple: revenge. This is exemplified time and time again through a recurring motif that I call “generational despair.” This concept is depicted in characters seeking retribution for their loved ones who were killed in previous battles, even those that occurred generations ago. The game’s battles feature countless enemy leaders citing reasons such as “you Walister dogs killed my mother” to justify why they fight. Even the protagonists themselves become motivated to fight out of a desire to avenge their murdered families. This concept of “generational despair” highlights how the pursuit of revenge can spiral into a cycle of violence, perpetuating conflicts that span generations.

Even the game mechanics serve to further emphasize this theme by demonstrating how minor battles can escalate into more revenge-driven conflicts. For instance, after eliminating an enemy unit in one battle, their spouse may appear in the next battle, seeking revenge. Of course, in the interest of unifying Valeria, you have to eliminate the vengeful spouse as well, thus continuing the cycle of violence.

*Young Denam; a case study in generational despair and moral sunk cost.

This brings us to what I believe is the final motivation behind these wars: moral sunk cost. Similar to the sunk cost fallacy, which causes people to persist in a certain course of action simply because they have invested a significant amount of time or money into it — after all, why waste all that effort? — moral sunk cost applies this principle abstractly to the morality of one’s actions.

Suppose you embark on what you believe to be a morally righteous goal, such as a religious crusade. However, along the way, you cause death, destruction, and injustice to everyone you encounter, all without making any real progress towards your goal. At this point, upon reflection, you have only two options left: stop your crusade altogether or continue. But why would you stop now? Were all those lives lost in pursuit of your crusade really worth nothing? Was the destruction you caused truly meaningless? Surely, this was all for the greater good, right?

I believe that this mindset drives much of the fighting in Valeria, and perhaps in the real world as well. Often, we convince ourselves that we are doing the right thing, even if there is collateral damage along the way. We may discover later on that we were mistaken, our goals were actually not morally righteous after all. However, the thought of admitting to such a mistake is unbearable, as it would mean accepting true responsibility for all the bad things we did while attempting to achieve our goals. We would effectively be admitting that we became like the ogre. Consequently, we resort to justifications such as “we must continue, or their lives were lost for nothing!” or “my father died fighting for this goal!” as a means to ignore the wrongs that have already been committed. Much like the vengeful spouse who seeks retribution for their fallen partner and will do anything to achieve this retribution, we simply cannot move on.

Lastly is the theme of regret. By the end of the game, Denam and others have a great many regrets, especially around some of the pivotal choices made throughout the story. At the time, everything seemed for a greater good, but looking back later on … was it really worth it? In pursuit of this grand vision of unification, did Denam sacrifice too much? Was there anything he could have done differently?

Back in high school, I broke the heart of my high school sweetheart, ruining our relationship forever. If only I hadn’t made that one tiny decision, maybe we would still be together? It’s hard to say. I can’t help but wonder what could have been if I had acted differently.

Everyone has regrets – I guess you just have to live and learn.

Gameplay or: more time travel shenanigans

Enough about the narrative elements of the game. Tactics Ogre: Reborn is a computer game, after all, so what about the gameplay? Is it actually fun to play? The simple answer is: Yes. At the time of its release, Tactics Ogre was revolutionary in its design, and it had a significant impact on the tactical role playing game genre that we know today. Although similar games preceded it, such as the Shining Force or Langrisser series, Tactics Ogre propelled the genre into the limelight and ultimately perfected the formula.

Tactics Ogre’s battles take place on large, isometric battlefields of various settings, such as mountains, tundras, grasslands, volcanoes, castles, and towns. You control a party of up to 12 units against the opposing party. The typical objective of each battle is to defeat the enemy leader, and in rarer cases, defeat every enemy on the map. Each unit moves in a turn-based fashion based on its recovery time or speed, and each unit has a specific role with strengths and weaknesses determined by their class.

During a battle, you need to consider various factors, including the weather and the terrain of the battlefield, which often impedes movement. Smart movement decisions are pivotal to securing victory. Additionally, you can adjust the camera left and right in a “bird’s-eye view” mode, which provides a flat-plane view of the battlefield from overhead. This perspective is particularly useful since the terrain on many battlefields often blocks visibility of units.

*The battle begins!

Influenced by Dragon Quest and Final Fantasy, Tactics Ogre incorporates a fairly robust class system with over 15 classes, including several unique classes that are exclusive to specific characters. A standard unit can only have one assigned class, which can be changed at will outside of battle. In the Reborn version of the game, there is no class level, so changing a unit’s class does not reset their level to 1. Instead, the level they had before carries over to their new class, resulting in less overall grinding – always a plus for any role-playing game. Moreover, Reborn eliminates the archaic need of having to hit your own units to gain extra experience points during battle. Instead, experience is now aggregated and distributed equally to every unit that participated in the battle at its conclusion.

Classes in Tactics Ogre may appear boring at first glance, but there is a sneaky level of depth that is revealed when you peel back some of the layers. There is no dual-classing, which means there’s no skill mix-and-matching. A Knight is always a Knight, regardless of which unit uses that class. You cannot transfer Archer skills over to a Knight, as you can in the Final Fantasy Tactics series. However, every class can only equip four skills and four spells, with over 20 skills at their disposal. This means that even if you have two Knights in your party, they are unlikely to be using the same skills. Therefore, the same classes can fulfill different roles depending on their build or skill loadout.

For example, Knight 1 could have the following skills: Swords, HP+, Rampart, and Phalanx. This skill set would make Knight 1 a very tanky sword-wielder, capable of blocking enemy unit movement with Rampart and taking half damage from attacks with Phalanx. Meanwhile, Knight 2 could have a different set of four skills, such as Hammers, Pincer Attack, MP+, and Sanctuary. This skill set would allow Knight 2 to use hammers more effectively, function more as a damage dealer with pincer attack, have more MP for healing magic, and block the movement of undead units with Sanctuary. In this way, each knight fulfills a different role based on their specific skill loadout. On the other hand, if you have only one Knight in your army, you can select and adjust their skills before a battle based on the situation. For instance, if the battle includes undead units, it would be beneficial to use Sanctuary, but if not, it would be wiser to choose a different skill to optimize your chances of victory. This customization makes every unit distinct even if they share the same class, more akin to a chess piece than a computer game character.

Reinforcing the chess-like nature of Reborn over its predecessors, it’s not possible to simply overlevel your characters to overpower every encounter. Each stage of the story has a predetermined level cap, and surpassing that cap is impossible. This makes the act of powering through battles a thing of the past, particularly on your initial playthrough, and truly highlights the emphasis on this game being more about strategy than a typical role playing game where level holds way more significance.

The changes in the class and level systems in Tactics Ogre: Reborn create an experience that feels more like an advanced game of chess than a typical strategy game. Every decision made before battle regarding party formation, as well as every decision in battle, feels crucial, and even a single mistake can lead to dire consequences, really emphasizing the “Tactics” of “Tactics Ogre.”

*A battle scene, showing the birds eye camera and isometric gameplay

As mentioned earlier, each unit can utilize four skill slots, with two different types of skills available. The first are normal skills that can be used in battle, while the second are “auto-skills” that have a chance of activating on a unit’s turn and can provide bonuses such as increased damage, reduced damage, or extra MP, among other things. In addition to skills, there are various types of magic available, including healing, damaging, and status ailment spells. MP is used for both skills and magic, a change from previous versions of the game that used both TP and MP. However, this consolidation works well in Reborn, putting the focus more on building and managing your resources to maximize your effectiveness in battle; as such, it is essential to prioritize positioning your units strategically and accumulating MP gradually, as MP begins at zero and increases with each turn; making MP a very valuable commodity.

A major change introduced in Reborn is the addition of buff-cards that randomly appear on the battlefield. These cards consist of “Physical Damage Up”, “Magic Damage Up”, “Auto-Skill Trigger”, “MP Gain Rate Up”, and “Critical Hit Rate Up”, and can be immensely helpful if you manage to collect them, easily turning the tide of battle in your favor. The unit that lands on the space where the card spawned will get the buff of that card, and a unit can have up to four of these buffs at once. A unit with four “Physical Damage Up” buffs will plow through enemy units, whereas a unit with four “Auto-Skill Trigger” buffs will activate their auto-skills almost every turn; depending on which auto-skills the unit has equipped, this can make the unit incredibly powerful.

The addition of buff-cards in Tactics Ogre: Reborn introduces a diabolical twist where enemies can also collect these cards and often prioritize doing so. This discourages stalling tactics as collecting buff-cards offers a significant advantage for whoever gets them first. If you try to stall out your enemy and wait for them to come to you, enemies may collect buff-cards during those turns, putting you at a disadvantage. Furthermore, enemy leaders are typically pre-buffed, making them more dangerous to begin with. Ultimately, the buff-card system encourages early and frequent movement, creating a high-risk, high-reward scenario that is actually very enjoyable when it pays off.

Although the buff-card system is interesting, it has a downside. The cards litter the battlefield midway through every battle, which is ugly and distracting. It would have been better to use less intrusive visual effects, such as small floating balls or auras, to avoid detracting from the beautiful isometric battlefields. Look no further than the screenshot below to see what I mean. It is a wonder that this design element made it beyond the testing phase without a workaround of some sort. Make no mistake, I like the addition of this mechanic as it adds additional strategic depth to the gameplay, however, it could have been implemented more elegantly.

*A battlefield littered with buff-cards

Like many strategy role-playing games, Tactics Ogre includes permadeath for all units. Once a unit loses all their HP, they become incapacitated. Incapacitated units have a three-turn timer over their heads. If a unit is not revived after three turns, they die permanently. There are various methods of reviving incapacitated units, such as using a revival item or having a priest resurrect them mid-battle; but once the timer reaches zero, they are gone for good. This permadeath system fits well with the game’s overall dark themes, especially since loss and regret are so prominent within the game’s narrative. It makes sense that your soldiers can die permanently, and even significant characters can meet the same fate, which can significantly alter the story’s development.

However, it is unlikely that your characters will die permanently, if ever, and this is not because the game is easy. In fact, Tactics Ogre: Reborn can be quite challenging at times. The reason they won’t be dying often is because you can just go back in time and prevent a character’s death altogether – even mid-battle.

Playing on one of the game’s primary motifs, that of altering choices and consequences, the game features time travel not only as part of exploring the narrative but also within the battle system itself, using a system called the “Chariot Tarot.” This system allows you to return to any turn within the last 50 turns and start over from that point – if this sounds overpowered, that’s because it is.

*Save-scumming with the chariot tarot after the enemy parries my attack

The Chariot Tarot system is effectively a glorified save-scummer built right into the game. Moved your unit to the wrong spot, resulting in their death? You can go back five turns and prevent that from ever happening. Missed a critical attack on an enemy unit? You can go back and do something else, such as moving away and casting a buff spell instead, or just choosing a different attack such as in the video above. The possibilities for abuse are pretty much endless.

The Chariot Tarot system is really interesting and unique, but ultimately somewhat game-breaking as it trivializes much of the decision-making process during a battle, removing the element of permanence from your decisions. However, the beauty of this system is that you don’t actually have to use it; it is entirely optional. On the other hand, it takes considerable will-power not to use it, especially in the event of a character death. Truly this is the ultimate weapon of any battlefield, the power to manipulate time itself.

Outside of the core mechanics, Tactics Ogre: Reborn excels at the little things as well. For example, the sound design is incredible; from the satisfying click of every menu decision, to the way the main battle theme crescendos right when you start your first turn; everything comes together incredibly well. Even the voice acting, which was added for this version of the game, feels like it should have always been included. Truly everything about this game is polished to a tee, you can tell so much care was put into every little thing. There’s very little to criticize.

Conclusion: or an apology to my summer-friend

Tactics Ogre: Reborn is an outstanding game with engaging gameplay, a compelling story, and narrative themes that prompt introspection in a way that you may not have experienced since your broody teenage years, as evident from this article.

After six consecutive days of playtime, without playing anything else, I can confidently say that Tactics Ogre: Reborn captivated me from the start and kept me returning, even after completing the story for the first time, just to indulge in more of what the game had to offer; the amount of content this game provides is truly bordering on levels of generosity so great that even Bill Gates himself would be envious. Additionally, its flaws are so minor they aren’t really even worth talking about.

From the lofty themes and dark nature of certain parts of this article, one might assume that the game wears its themes on its sleeve in a pretentious manner, prioritizing its story and striving to seem intelligent over actual gameplay; however, this could not be further from the truth. The game tells its story in such an non-intrusive manner that you barely feel like you’re being taken out of the gameplay at all, as everything is done in engine without the need for cutscenes or other modern extravagances.

Looking back, I owe an apology to my summer-friend who had recommended the series to me earlier in life. He was right and, like Vyce, I was just being a contrarian. I missed out, but I am here now.

*My final savefile on the Nintendo Switch version of Tactics Ogre: Reborn

If I were given access to the World Tarot, would I turn back time and play the series earlier? Probably not. Experiencing Tactics Ogre: Reborn now allowed me to appreciate it in a different way, and if I played it earlier, I might not have enjoyed it as much. Besides, it was so long ago that the magic might have worn off by now. Also, I would seriously run the risk of becoming one of those “the original SNES version was better” purists; such hipsterisms frustrate even my own hipster sensibilities.

In conclusion, if you haven’t played the series before, Tactics Ogre: Reborn is a great place to start. If you’ve already played the earlier versions, it’s worth trying this version for the new gameplay mechanics, voice acting, and beautifully upscaled visuals (ignore the naysayers who complain about “smoothing”, the game looks great). If you’ve already played Tactics Ogre: Reborn and just wanted to read someone else’s thoughts on the game, then thank you for sticking around this long.

And remember, if you start to get bored … turn the game off and do something else. If you’re not having fun, it’s not worth it. Although, you won’t have this problem with Tactics Ogre: Reborn.

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(originally published on 4/25/2023)

#ComputerGames #TacticsOgre #Ethics #Review

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INTRODUCTION, or a foreword and some brief nostalgic ramblings

Final Fantasy XII was released for the PlayStation 2 sixteen years ago. Coincidentally, at that time, I was sixteen years old and eagerly awaiting a new single-player Final Fantasy romp to satisfy my adderall-addled brain; always hungry for more fantasy worlds to get lost in. Back then, I didn't care who wrote the story or created the world of a particular game. I knew some trivia, such as Nobuo Uematsu being the composer for most of the series (and thinking it was cool to say he was the best composer of all time), Hironobu Sakaguchi creating the series, and Yoshitaka Amano being the artist behind most of the concept art (and still my favorite artist to date). As a teenager, I assumed these fundamental Final Fantasy truths were still the case here, but I was (mostly) wrong. This, I believe, encapsulates the typical frustrations around Final Fantasy XII – everything's different. Fans, including myself, expected more of the same with familiar monsters, concepts, and themes ... but what we got instead was Final Fantasy XII.

Whether intentional or not, being “different” is what Final Fantasy XII is all about. Although many big names at Square were involved in its creation, its setting and plot were spearheaded by Yasumi Matsuno, who is famous for “Ogre Battle” and “Final Fantasy Tactics'' and infused his brand of “down-to-earth” settings and politically driven narratives into everything he worked on. As such, the protagonist is no longer some brooding jerk or mysterious youth with a dreary backstory; instead, they might be a fallen knight framed for murdering a king, a secret princess with conflicting thoughts of revenge, or a homeless thief with dreams of becoming a pirate. The plot no longer involves traversing space/time to kill a sorceress or injecting people with alien sperm; rather, it focuses on countries at war and the politics involved in such affairs. The music is no longer poppy with elements of prog-rock and upbeat catchy tunes; it's orchestral, moody, and atmospheric. The battle system is no longer based on random encounters and turn-based combat; instead, it's automated and MMORPG-esque. No longer is there a world map but a sprawling interconnected series of environments all linked together to form almost an open-world of sorts. I think you get the point: Final Fantasy XII is very different from what came before; and while Final Fantasy XII features familiar crystals, magic, and summons, it only does so in the most subtle of ways; like a weird Final Fantasy fever dream.

So, is being “different” bad? Obviously not. Final Fantasy XII is very good for some of those very same reasons, but it is not without its flaws. For everything Final Fantasy XII does right, it seems to do a few things wrong. Throughout the body of this review, I will attempt to cover all elements of the game, including the plot, setting, characters, battle systems, and overall gameplay loop. Surely, I will miss some things, and of course, this is all my opinion, so feel free to take everything written here with a grain of salt. Ultimately, this is an exercise to try and make sense of my experience with the game so mileage may vary. Also worth noting that all screenshots and footage found within this review come from my recent February – March 2023 playthrough of Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age for Nintendo Switch. Lastly, if you don’t want to read through 9000 words of text, skip to the conclusion section for my final thoughts. Enough with the disclaimer.

PLOT, or can I get a brief rundown?

While I could analyze and criticize the entire plot, that would be far too time-consuming; so, for the purposes of this review, I will only be providing a brief rundown. Final Fantasy XII is like a blend of Final Fantasy II and the Star Wars prequel trilogy. It takes place in the world of Ivalice, made famous by Final Fantasy Tactics, and revolves around an evil empire, the Archadian Empire, that aims to (essentially) conquer the world. Before the events of the game, the Empire seized control of Dalmasca, the homeland of our heroes, and overthrew its political body. At the start of the game, you are thrown into Rabanastre, Dalmasca's capital under Archadian occupation, and take charge of what amounts to a resistance group; it's all very patriotic and in this way is similar to Final Fantasy II's plot. As you progress, you confront a seemingly benevolent but actually wicked man who later becomes the emperor of the Archadian Empire, much like Star Wars' Palpatine, and his Judges, who are committed to serving and protecting him, designed to look a lot like Stormtroopers of Star Wars fame. Many of these influences are evident in the plot's structure, world-building, and overall design.

The setting of Ivalice and the impending war provides the backdrop for our heroes to venture through numerous cities, fight various uglies, and perform in their own dramas. The story explores themes of togetherness, revenge, overcoming adversity in the face of overwhelming odds, dealing with grief, and being one part of a whole to accomplish seemingly impossible things. Final Fantasy XII is unique in that the characters themselves typically take the bench in favor of the overarching plot and themes; but, of course, some characters are more important than others, which we’ll explore later on.

While the plot of Final Fantasy XII may not have significant depth, it is still enjoyable to watch unfold on screen, despite its cliched nature. Like Final Fantasy games before it, XII does not skimp on the cutscenes, but many of them are only there to showcase some of the beautiful cities and environments; almost as if the directors were showing off; a lot of the action sequences happen within the confines of the game’s engine, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing as the game looks amazing overall (especially for a PlayStation 2 game). There are two cutscenes in particular that are really fun to watch, one of which being the final cutscene of the game (or close to it), so if you’re a cutscene aficionado you have something to look forward to.

SETTING, or the bustle of the capital and the necessity of fast-travel

Final Fantasy XII takes place in Yasumi Matsuno's famous world of Ivalice, which is also the setting for Final Fantasy Tactics. However, XII is set far before the events of Tactics, making Ivalice an “ancient civilization” within the overall lore. This is an interesting piece of trivia, but ultimately meaningless since there are no direct ties to events from either game. While there are some tenuous links between the two, including certain names and places, the connection is weak at best.

*A distant view of Rabanastre

The setting of Final Fantasy XII is a mix of ancient Greek and Middle-Eastern influenced cities, classical castles, and magic-powered technology with a more sandy-natural look (unlike the cyberpunk-influenced technology of FF6 or 7), all separated by vast plains and deserts, and populated by several distinct races. It’s important to note that XII is not a sequel or prequel to Final Fantasy Tactics, so going into the game with those expectations will only lead to disappointment. While there are differences between the two games, such as the absence of airships, flying cars, and non-human races in Tactics, these changes were made to incorporate new themes and concepts that are more in line with what series regulars expect. Ultimately, Final Fantasy XII benefits from these additions overall.

In recreating Ivalice, Final Fantasy XII builds upon the foundation laid by Tactics, adding many additional layers of world-building to create something new and exciting. It’s like a phoenix being reborn – a summon that does not appear in either game. That said, let’s move on from Final Fantasy Tactics and focus on what makes Final Fantasy XII so unique.

Final Fantasy XII’s world of Ivalice has three major cities: Rabanastre, Bhujerba, and Archades. Each city has its own unique theme and place within the plot; however, much like an MMORPG, there is one city you will be spending the majority of your time in, and that is Rabanastre.

Stuck between the Giza Plains, the Estersand, and the Westersand — Rabanastre is the quintessential “hub city” of Final Fantasy XII; likened to Bastok, Sandoria, or Windurst of Final Fantasy XI. Rabanastre has all the hallmarks of a “Triple A” role playing game city: multiple zones, shops, npcs, and a sprawling underworld that is fully explorable. To top it off, there is a robust sewer system that you will end up hating by game’s end. Rabanastre’s overall aesthetic design seems to be influenced by middle-eastern architecture with bazaars aplenty and a big brutal cathedral-like castle stuck in the middle. The musical theme of the city fits so perfectly it feels like you’re actually there. A nice plus is the moogle service allowing you to teleport throughout the city. Rabanastre is easily one of the best cities in the entire franchise.

*The bazaar of Rabanastre

Our next main city is Bhujerba, a sprawling island city floating in the sky. Home to sky pirates and rough looking people in general — for some reason several NPCs are wearing a loin-cloth or very little clothing, not just unique to Bhujerba. The city has the same “brown” and “dusty” feeling as Rabanastre, just with less going on. The music isn't as memorable and ultimately the city functions as a waypoint before a major dungeon you will be revisiting several times. While this city is floating in the sky, you don't get that impression from how the actual visuals are designed while exploring on the ground-floor; there may be one part of the city that overlooks clouds but the majority looks and feels grounded, leaving Bhujerba unspectacular as a result. Like all the cities in this game, there are multiple connecting zones; however, unlike Rabanastre, there is no teleport service to facilitate fast travel between these large zones, which makes traveling through Bhujerba a chore after the first few times.

Last but not least: Archades. This city is teased throughout the entire game, mentioned multiple times and shown in multiple cutscenes. A foreboding specter that sparks endless curiosity; ultimately built up as a “must see'' location. Archades is a marvel of modern Ivalician technology, and home to the game's evil Empire. A sprawling city with sky-scrappers and personal flying ships akin to cars. The city is so obviously based on Coruscant that you would be forgiven mistaking some cutscenes as coming straight from the Star Wars Prequel trilogy. Unfortunately upon actually arriving in game, Archades does not live up to its name, as the visuals for each section of the city are underwhelming at best — barely outlining what made the city look so cool and enticing in the cutscenes. It ends up feeling like another brown dusty city, not dissimilar from the cities we've already visited. Archades on the ground floor feels like an afterthought, perhaps added toward the end of development — a major missed opportunity. And there's a total of only one flying vehicle (a taxi), which is a travesty.

*A vertical slice of Archades

Archades explores themes of class division and rampant capitalism. There is an “undercity” where the destitute live, and a lavish main area where the upper class reside. This theme is mirrored in Rabanastre, which is similarly oppressed by the Evil Empire. Given the political nature of the overall plot, Final Fantasy XII had a great opportunity to delve into themes of poverty, class, and status. However, it ultimately uses these ideas only to reinforce the notion that the Archadian Empire is evil. A more in-depth exploration of these themes would have added some much needed philosophical depth to the narrative, something it is sorely lacking.

*Archades undercity; showcasing the class divide

A key aspect of Final Fantasy XII's setting is the presence of races other than humans (or Humes, to be precise), including Seeq (pig people), Bangaa (lizard people), Viera (bunny women), Moogles (Kupo!), and Nu Mou (dog people). While the presence of different races makes the world feel more lively and robust, more depth around each race's culture and how they interact with the world would have been appreciated. One might expect there to be a breadth of themes and concepts to be explored by the inclusion of new races, such as their relations with each other and their cultures. However, outside of the reclusive bunny race, Final Fantasy XII fails to explore themes around cultural or racial disharmony, perhaps choosing the safe route instead of trying to champion a message. This is fine, but ultimately the races end up feeling like different-looking humanoids representing different personality types, which I do not think is a good overall message. The fact that there is only one non-Hume playable character reinforces the idea that most of the races are simply there to make the world seem more interesting. While I am not asking for Elder Scrolls-level racial detail, something more than what we got would have gone a long way in helping to flesh out the world a bit more. Really I would have just been happy with a Moogle playable character, but who am I kidding.

*Bangaas and Seeqs, oh my! Not playable characters

Final Fantasy XII contains a number of beautiful overworld zones filled with monsters, traps, and various dangers. Similar to an MMORPG, the main overworld areas are sprawling environments that must be traversed to accomplish your tasks, often composed of multiple interconnected sections sometimes connected by intricate cave and tunnel systems. The majority of these areas are deserts, mines, and nondescript grasslands, which makes the overworld feel very real and livable. There are a few weird places that you would expect from a Final Fantasy game, like an ethereal crystal dungeon and the insides of various airships; however, these are few and far between and typically you can’t return to these areas.

Final Fantasy XII does a great job of immersing you in its large world, and while the sheer size and count of these zones help with that, it cannot be understated how sprawling these overworld zones actually are. One area in particular, the Sandsea, takes over an hour to traverse in full, and while it may be fun the first time, having to backtrack through this zone later on makes the entire experience a chore. This also highlights one of the main gripes I have with Final Fantasy XII: backtracking and travel in general — and the fact that your party never avoids traps on the ground, constantly killing themselves, but that’s beside the point.

*Aforementioned weird crystal dungeon, a cool zone that you can actually return to

Ivalice is an interesting world to get lost in by choice. The art direction plus world building is top-tier, even if the environments feel the same here and there. After all, environments in the real world can feel a bit repetitive too. However, Final Fantasy XII seems too aware of this fact as it forces the player to backtrack through every environment multiple times. Unlike Super Metroid, where backtracking is fun because you’re unlocking secrets and hidden passages after acquiring new weapons and equipment, Final Fantasy XII has you return to the same areas with very little changes outside of a new mark to kill or a new shiny on the ground to collect. A quick way to solve this problem is with the addition of more robust fast travel options. And yes, I am aware this sounds like petulant post-Oblivion criticism. While some fast travel options do exist, it is simply not enough, and Final Fantasy XII suffers from it. At the very least, the option to teleport back to a homepoint after a long trip would have been immensely helpful. Instead, you have to walk all the way back to where you came from or to the nearest crystal — in a game that overemphasizes the process of obtaining tasks from NPCs, traveling to a far-off destination to complete said task, and then returning to the NPC for a reward, this is not a fun system.

Final Fantasy XII is not an MMO that aims to milk players of all their time and money under the guise of immersion, yet it ends up feeling that way. Watching your character’s back for ten minutes straight while they run through the Giza Plains for the tenth time is the opposite of exciting gameplay. One may forgive this drawback due to its original release date (March 16, 2006 – four days before The Elder Scrolls: Oblivion). However, the simple fact remains that travel is a chore that detracts from the overall experience. While there is a honeymoon period where each new zone is exciting and fresh, the issue arises after having to traverse the same areas time and time again. Thankfully, the Zodiac Edition adds a 2x and 4x speed-up option, and unless you are a principled purist, you will be using this feature a lot, especially at endgame. Sadly, Final Fantasy XII feels like it needs this speed-up option to prevent becoming a slog, and that is a shame.

*backtracking with 4x speed enabled after hunting a mark

CHARACTERS, or the six scions of staleness and the villain ladder

Final Fantasy XII features a cast of six main characters and multiple guest characters, who are more interesting than any of our protagonists. For the first time in the history of the Final Fantasy series, none of these six playable characters can be seen as the true main character. Although some vie for this position, such as Ashe, the Princess of Dalmasca, or Basch, the fallen knight, each character is so devoid of presence and personality that the whole thing ends up feeling like a bunch of people just doing stuff to advance the plot. The characters do have their own motivations, goals, and aspirations; however, they are so clichéd that it’s hard to see them as anything more than plot pawns or odd business decisions to entice specific demographics to purchase the game. On the plus side, Final Fantasy XII allows you to pilot any character as your “main character” in overworld environments, which helps drive the idea that there is no single main character. On the other hand, the game forces you to play as Vaan in every city and town, which negates that idea completely. Regardless, we will explore each character in the order of meeting them throughout this section.

*Our six heroes, staring off into the blue yonder

The first character we meet on our journey isn’t technically Vaan, but it might as well be. Vaan is a thieving street teen who dreams of piloting his own airship and becoming a sky pirate. His outfit and personality are reminiscent of Zidane Tribal, the protagonist of Final Fantasy IX fame, with the major difference being that Zidane was given a last name due to being a fully fleshed-out character. Like Zidane, he is loyal and has a strong sense of right and wrong. Zidane also has a vivid backstory explaining how he lived, where he lived, and what he was doing before the events of the game, whereas Vaan seemingly just didn’t exist until he first popped up on your screen. The majority of Vaan’s depth comes from his brother dying at the hands of the Empire and, initially, a drive for revenge that inspires him to steal from the castle, getting him involved with the rest of the cast. Around the game’s halfway point, Vaan becomes completely irrelevant to the plot and feels more like a player-inset than anything else.

Next, we have Penelo, a bubbly teen girl with pigtails and Vaan’s best and (maybe) only friend. While she also lacks a last name, she has far more personality and is easily more endearing than Vaan. And while Vaan dreams of becoming a sky pirate, Penelo dreams of becoming a dancer. This is obvious from her very detailed and unique battle animations in which she spins to attack and idly bounces up and down. She (like many other female Final Fantasy characters) is often used as the damsel in distress to advance the plot. In general, Penelo is one of the better characters, not because of her importance to the plot, but because of the little details around her personality. Like Vaan, she becomes completely irrelevant to the plot after she is rescued from bandits very early on.

Next up is Balthier, a character with an actual full name, Ffamran mied Bunansa, which makes him one of the few direct links to Final Fantasy Tactics as an ancestor of Mustadio Bunansa, a character from that game. However, that’s as far as the connection goes. Balthier is a sky pirate and one of the few characters with a fully fleshed-out backstory that relates to several key points of the plot. His sarcastic Wilde-like wit and mysterious motivations make him easily the most interesting character in the cast. Vaan clearly looks up to Balthier as a role-model, as he’s achieved Vaan’s dream of becoming a sky pirate and even has his own airship; but this dynamic is only explored briefly. Always partnered with his Viera companion Fran, they make up an intriguing duo that is always fun to watch. Balthier’s absence in a scene is truly felt, but this is a very rare occurrence as the writers wisely knew this and rarely removed him from the action. All this, on top of being the son of a main antagonist, makes it easy to mistake him for Final Fantasy XII’s main character — he is the leading man, after all.

Fran, Balthier’s ever-present companion and possible lover, is interesting by virtue of being the only non-Hume playable character in the game, and Balthier’s sidekick. As a Viera, her bunny ears make her immediately recognizable from the rest of the cast, as do her lack of clothes and over-sexualized mannerisms. While most Viera are reclusive beings that live in the forests, Fran left that world early in life and lives among the rest of Ivalice. Fran is the “sage” of the cast, rarely speaking outside of providing wisdom through brief generic idioms. While this may seem cool and mysterious at first, upon closer inspection, it highlights how little personality Fran actually has, which is a shame because there was a lot of potential here. Unfortunately, Fran ends up feeling like Balthier’s accessory more than anything else — making Balthier more interesting simply by virtue of being attached to him, which is just a little problematic.

Moving on to Basch fon Ronsenburg, a fallen knight accused of murdering a king and Vaan’s brother. Basch is a fairly likable character, wise and stoic with age, but with glimpses of humor that hint at him being a fun guy to have a drink with. Overall, his design is a bit basic for a Final Fantasy character, with a slightly unkempt slicked-back blonde mullet and facial scruff. The most outlandish thing about him, like Vaan, is his odd outfit consisting of an uneven sleeveless jacket adorned with seemingly unnecessary belts. After saving Basch from a dungeon, Vaan wrestles with the fact that Basch may have killed his brother, but very quickly comes to realize that Basch is a good man who would not commit those crimes simply because Basch said so. I am not sure if this is a stroke of genius commenting on Vaan’s young naivety or just lazy writing. Regardless, Basch is a good and honorable man, a knight for all intents and purposes, but that’s all he is. Like much of the cast, Basch fits into a specific character archetype and does not deviate from it. Being 36 years of age during the events of the game makes him one of the oldest playable characters in recent Final Fantasy games, even surpassing Auron from Final Fantasy X by one year.

When it comes to selecting the true main character for Final Fantasy XII, the top choice undoubtedly would be Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca, commonly known as Ashe. This theory is supported by the fact that she faces numerous character-defining choices throughout the game, has the most screen time, and undergoes the most development out of any of the cast (although this isn’t saying much). As the former princess of Dalmasca, she is the last true descendant to the throne and thus the most significant character in the game. Although you are required to explore towns as Vaan, Ashe is the true main character, as most of the plot revolves around her decisions. Ashe is a determined, slow-to-trust, stubborn, and somewhat tomboyish character who reminds one of Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII. In many ways, Lightning probably would not exist without Ashe, as they both share similar personalities, outfits, and even facial features. In fact, Lightning is likely a combination of Cloud and Ashe, borrowing from Cloud’s undeniable rule of cool demeanor and Ashe’s overall femininity and personality. Ultimately, I always choose Ashe to lead my main party, as it feels natural for her to be leading the charge. Overall, I like her, even if she comes off as a bit bland and one-dimensional at times.

*Ashe, Fran, and Vaan celebrate a tough victory; their win poses highlighting a bit of their personalities

Enough about the protagonists, what about the villains? And how do they stack up compared to other Final Fantasy villains? Final Fantasy XII has, in my estimation, two main antagonists, and a number of less important ones. We will explore each main antagonist and briefly touch on some of the others as well.

Vayne Carudas Solidor serves as the primary antagonist of Final Fantasy XII. He is driven solely by his desire for power, preferring treachery and political maneuvering over outright violence. Vayne is more akin to a Final Fantasy Tactics villain than a Classic Final Fantasy villain. He is more concerned with politics than anything else and is much more willing to bide his time than, for example, Kefka from Final Fantasy VI. If we had to draw parallels to previous Classic Final Fantasy villains, Vayne would be most similar to Seymour from Final Fantasy X, and to a lesser extent, Kuja from Final Fantasy IX. Like Seymour, Vayne will lie and manipulate his way through the ranks, only revealing his true colors when absolutely necessary. And like Kuja, he is willing to put up with lesser beings and annoyances if they serve his end-goal.

In terms of “coolness,” Vayne sits lower on the Final Fantasy villain ladder, with Exdeath at the top (of course, a tree wizard can’t NOT be at the top of the ladder), followed by Sephiroth (yes, Sephiroth is cool, stop being a contrarian), and then Kuja or Kefka. Vayne Solidor is somewhere in the middle, like many of the character designs in Final Fantasy XII. There is nothing overtly cool about him, and even his long black hair, parted to the side, is strikingly uncool. If he succeeds at anything, it is being very punchable. From the moment he is introduced, you are rooting for his downfall, which, to me, is the opposite of a good villain as there’s nothing to think about or sympathize with. Like all main antagonists, he has several forms when you do end up battling against him, culminating in a “Safer Sephiroth”-like form where Vayne is basically a magic-infused mecha with a Megaman buster cannon and flying swords; the forms are cool but not nearly as awesome as Kefka’s angel form or Sephiroth’s various otherworldly forms. And unfortunately, by the time you actually get to fight him, you’ll likely be overleveled and far too powerful to take him seriously, resulting in a boring snooze fest of a battle.

**Vayne in the middle; who’s cooler?

The second main antagonist is Vayne’s (seemingly) right-hand man, Doctor Cidolfus. It is an interesting choice to make the primary Cid in a Final Fantasy game a villain, but there you have it. Cidolfus is an average-looking middle-aged man of extreme intelligence, similar to previous Cids in the series. Pioneer of using ancient relics to create powerful airships and other advanced technology, responsible for much of the cool Star Wars stuff you see in Archades, as well as making horrifying death bombs out of magicite. Throughout the game, he is seen scheming with Vayne about how to essentially take over the world (or something), and he’s constantly muttering to himself under his breath in a way not dissimilar to that crazy family member you try to avoid. Cidolfus is the mad scientist archetype to a tee and doesn’t deviate much from that even later on when you find out his true motivations. Regardless, he’s well-done, and the penultimate fight with him feels like you’re fighting another player as he uses Espers and magic in the same way the player does, which is a neat touch.

*Ashe calls out Cidolfus for what he is; an insane person

There are several minor antagonists who are functionally under Vayne as they report up through him in the evil Empire hierarchy. Many of these minor villains are the Archadian Judges, the guardians of law and order in the Archadian Empire. Modeled loosely on Star Wars stormtroopers, their presence is felt often as you battle countless mook judges and several high-ranking magister judges throughout the whole game. High-ranking magister judges feel very similar to Sith Lords in the Star Wars series, each with a distinct weapon of choice and fighting style. Most importantly, they all scheme for power, which is a key trait of the Sith religion. All magister judges report up to Darth Sidious… I mean, Vayne Solidor, and all secretly hate him and want him dethroned. One of the best scenes in the game revolves around the drama behind this Sith-like dynamic. Out of all the magister judges, one in particular is more important than the rest: Gabranth. While being built up as a serious life-ending threat, Gabranth is so pathetically easy to defeat when you do face him that his coolness factor drops by ten orders of magnitude. Regardless, Gabranth is the only antagonist to have a redemption arc, making him one of the most compelling characters in the entire game.

*Concept art of a judge, as depicted in the game’s promotional material

Aesthetically, all the Magister Judges are strikingly cool in their own way, sporting beautifully intimidating armor equipped with unique helmets and flowing capes. There is a reason they were used in most of the promotional material for Final Fantasy XII. I remember when Final Fantasy XIV added the judge armor into the game; I grinded for hours just to get a glamor set that made me look like these hulking knights. Truly, some of the most iconic imagery in Final Fantasy history, up there with Magitech armor and the Mako Reactor.

THE GAMEPLAY, or the game that plays itself … and that’s a good thing!

Final Fantasy XII shares some similarities with previous games in the series, particularly in terms of its core progression criteria. In essence, players explore environments, converse with NPCs, and complete tasks for them, such as fetching items or defeating monsters. Interwoven within these tasks are cutscenes and other events that drive the plot forward. This is typical of both JRPGs and Final Fantasy games in general. Furthermore, like many RPGs that came before it, Final Fantasy XII includes swords, sorcery, summons, armor, special equipment, and items to aid players in their journey. And surprise surprise, it also contains experience points and a level up system, like all previous Final Fantasy titles.

However, Final Fantasy XII stands out in many ways. For one, the game encourages players to delve into long bouts of side-content that require exploration of a vast pseudo open-world. Additionally, the game features a wholly unique battle system based on building out your own party AI, allowing you to (in theory) put the controller down and have your characters battle for you. In these ways, Final Fantasy XII is a truly unique game compared to many that came before it. In this section, we will delve into the battle system, mechanics, and overall gameplay loop found within the game and what makes it so unique; I’ll also be ragging on it a bit as I tend to do.

Final Fantasy XII allows you to control multiple characters, but only one character is playable as a “driving” character at a time, the others are automated (which we’ll get into later); however, you can cycle between your party members easily with the press of a button. While there are six playable characters in total, parties can only have a maximum of three (four when there is a guest in the party); this means you need to either neglect three characters or level everyone equally so you can switch between party formations. I ended up having a “main party” of Ashe, Basch, and Balthier and a “sub party” of Penelo, Fran, and Vaan; all of which I would level equally throughout the game as there is no “shared” exp for those out of battle.

*The party menu, showing the three active characters and party leader indicated by a flag

The core battle system in Final Fantasy XII borrows heavily from the MMORPG Final Fantasy XI, not only in how combat is initiated but also in the underlying framework of how encounters play out. Firstly, there are no random battles; instead, everything is visible in the open world, touching a monster does not initiate a battle like in Chrono Trigger; instead, all monsters are in a constant ready-state to dunk on you with no screen transition needed. Like previous games in the series, Final Fantasy XII uses an Active Time Battle system with several tweaks. This means that time passes as you make battle decisions; however, if you want time to think, there is an option to freeze time when you pull up the battle menu, which I would recommend, as there is just too much going on to actively manage things in real-time (or maybe I’m just stupid).

While you can select character actions from a classic blue menu, once you select “attack,” your character will auto-attack until the monster is dead. Much like in Final Fantasy XI, selecting items or magic from the menu causes your character to stop auto-attacking, perform the action, and then resume auto-attacking. However, this is where comparisons to Final Fantasy XI end. The resulting gameplay is not dissimilar to that of an action game. These changes help make the battling experience smoother compared to previous entries in the series and represent a progressive step forward in many ways, evidenced by the sheer number of JRPGs that copied the formula later on and the fact terms like “random battles” or “turn-based” are virtually unseen in the “Triple A” RPG gaming space today.

*A typical battle sequence, showcasing roaming monsters on the overworld

Final Fantasy is renowned for its impressive limit breaks and summons that have amazed countless players over the years. As a kid, I remember inviting my friend over to witness the effortlessly cool Knights of the Round or Omnislash animations play out on my Grandma’s living room CRT. However, Final Fantasy XII falls short in both departments, particularly when it comes to the rule of cool factor.

Similar to its predecessors, Final Fantasy XII includes summons called “Espers” and super moves referred to as “Quickenings”. These mechanics are powered by a gauge known as the “Mist Gauge”, which fills up over time based on obscure conditions that I was unable to discern. Unlike the classic summons like Ifrit, Shiva, or even Ramuh, Espers in Final Fantasy XII are a new set of beings with unique names and appearances, some of which are based on boss demons from Final Fantasy Tactics. Although this trivia is neat, the lack of familiarity may be somewhat off-putting, especially for a kid who just wants to see Odin cut stuff in half.

Mechanically, summoning an Esper consumes a mist charge and removes everyone except the caster and the Esper from the battlefield, allowing you to control the Esper directly. While this feature is reminiscent of Final Fantasy X, this direct control becomes a mere formality as you typically end up summoning your Esper and immediately using their super move to prevent being zerged by the opponent. Nonetheless, the super move animation of each Esper passes the “rule of cool” test, making it worth watching each one at least once. Additionally, there are certain fights in the game that can be cheesed with Espers (look it up if you’re curious), but that is not so much a feature as an oversight.

*Esper Belias doing his super move

The new “Quickening” system, which replaces “Limit Breaks” of past games, also utilizes the Mist Gauge and is a significant downgrade from Limit Breaks in every way. Quickening are essentially quick-time events that can be chained together with other characters’ Quickening attacks to perform combo finishers for massive damage. The problem with Quickenings is that they are simply not cool to look at and they take too long to chain. Remember when Squall lifted his blade to the heavens, summoning a massive beam that dropped down on his foes, zooming out to show the beam landing on the planet? Or when Zell ran around the world a few times before punching his opponent? Now Vaan just throws a tornado at the monster. Overall, Final Fantasy XII’s Quickenings fail to match the sheer brutality, coolness, and spectacle of the series’ previous entries. Moreover, they take too long to chain together, particularly in the late game, where completing a full chain can take three minutes or more. This makes the process tiresome and repetitive, and you ultimately end up skipping it altogether to save time in battles.

*Vaan throws a tornado at the monster; also showcasing the quick-time-event chaining aspects in the bottom right

A key mechanic of Final Fantasy XII is the Gambit System. Essentially allowing you to program your character to battle automatically as if you had full access to their AI. You can input commands using simplified IF-THEN statements such as “Do (blank) under (blank) condition”. For instance, you can program Vaan to attack when he encounters a monster or to use a potion when his HP drops below 50%. Each character can equip up to 12 gambits at any given time, and there are 3 sets of gambits that can be cycled through for each character. The gambit list itself resembles an Excel sheet and functions from top to bottom, with the topmost gambit taking priority over those beneath it. Consider the following scenario, two gambits: gambit 1, which is “Cast cure when HP is below 50%,” and gambit 2, which is “Cast poisona when poisoned.” If both gambits are active and I am both below 50% HP and poisoned, my character will first cast cure, and then poisona. The brilliance of this system is that, if executed correctly, most fights can be entirely automated. At first, this might seem boring or counter-intuitive, after all … why would someone want to automate the game? However, the fun lies in figuring out the right gambits that enable proper automation, which in essence is all part of playing the game.

Consider the following example: I had one gambit set for Ashe that prioritized casting decoy on Vaan to make him the bosses’ primary target. Then, I prioritized Ashe’s healing gambits over attacking gambits to keep Vaan’s HP topped off. In theory, this keeps the boss on Vaan and keeps Vaan alive. However, the boss would occasionally cast silence on Ashe, preventing her from casting cure on Vaan, resulting in Vaan’s death. To get around this obstacle, I had to add a new gambit to Ashe of “Use echo herb when silenced” so that Ashe would cure herself of silence, enabling her to continue healing Vaan and ensuring his survival thereby allowing the fight to be entirely automated. Since every fight has unique quirks, you constantly need to tweak your gambit sets to fit each situation. Overall, this system is incredibly unique for its time and allows for countless tricks and gimmicks that would be impossible in a normal turn-based battle system.

*Gambit system in action, outlining the classic decoy > cure > attack gambit setup

The Gambit System does have its flaws. For example, some spells cannot be automated at all because the game only allows for one condition per gambit. Take the spell “Dispel” which removes any buff or debuff on the monster when assigned to a gambit; ideally, you would only want to automate dispel if it removed effects that buffed the monster (such as haste or protect). However, since you cannot specify two conditions, such as “use dispel 1) on monster 2) under the effect of haste,” it is impossible to automate dispel without sometimes dispelling harmful effects on the monster as well. This could be easily solved if you could add an extra condition to gambits. Perhaps adding two conditions would be too complicated for the game’s code or maybe it was to prevent full automation of the game entirely. Either way, this addition would have been welcome.

Another point of contention is that while there are three gambit sets for each character, you cannot cycle through them without pausing the game and going through a few menus, making it a pain to switch Penelo from her attacking gambit set to her healing gambit set. Because of this, I focused on making one generalized set that covered every basic situation and used the other two pages for buffs and specific fights.

Although the Gambit System is a stroke of genius, it is underutilized in many ways due to a lack of creativity around many of the boss battles. For such a complex system, it was odd how many boss battles could be easily defeated with a simple gambit set, such as the Ashe-Vaan example I provided earlier. I suspect the developers were aware of this simplicity as well, as they would often try to throw a curveball to specifically counter gambit sets like mine. For instance, battles that couldn’t be won using the typical “decoy > cure > attack” gambits were usually because the monster was immune or absorbed physical damage, in which case I only needed to switch my physical attack gambits to magic attack gambits. This was particularly frustrating in some fights where the monster’s immunities changed mid-battle, requiring me to pause the game, go into the menus, adjust my gambits, and then resume the battle. This resulted in fights designed around going into full-screen system menus to change your gambits entirely, which I would argue is terrible game design as it takes you out of the action entirely. This could be forgiven if it happened only once or twice, but this happens far too often, especially in late game. To be clear, the criticism is not “I should be able to power through the game with one specific strategy,” but rather “there shouldn’t be only two or three specific strategies to beat everything,” which is what ends up happening in Final Fantasy XII. It could be argued that the developers pulled these tricks so often to encourage manual play instead of full-automation. However, my counter argument would be: why? The brilliance of Final Fantasy XII is figuring out how to automate every battle, like a JRPG version of Factorio. Why not embrace it?

*Battle showing a situation in which physical attacking is disabled forcing the player to swap in magic gambits

Character progression in Final Fantasy XII is governed by a system known as the “License System.” This system is essentially a board with various unlockable nodes that govern which weapons, magics, equipment, skills, and other features you can use. Licenses even provide stat boosts like attack and HP bonuses. You gain LP from defeating enemies, which you then use to unlock nodes on the board. Each node costs a certain amount of LP, and the better the license, the more LP it costs. Additionally, licenses are locked behind other licenses, so you have to unlock them in a certain order to build your character in the way you want. Therefore, you cannot immediately unlock the best spells for Vaan by grinding LP early in the game. You have to unlock all the prerequisite licenses first before you can unlock the high-tier stuff. In this way, the system is similar to the Sphere Grid in Final Fantasy X, which suffered from the same problem of all characters eventually becoming the same unless you made a conscious effort to differentiate them. After all, why wouldn’t you want all your characters to have the highest-tier black magic or use the best equipment and weapons? Thankfully, this problem only exists in the original release of Final Fantasy XII as they made major revisions to the License System in the Zodiac Edition.

Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Edition utilizes the License System similarly to the original game, but with a twist. Instead of granting unrestricted access to the entire license board for every character, you must now choose a “job” for each character, which unlocks a specialized board for that job. From there, the license system operates essentially the same way as in the original game. At first, this may seem unfortunate since it limits the choices for your characters, but ultimately, it prevents them from being carbon copies, and forces you to decide on specific roles for each character. After all, what is Final Fantasy without a job system? And this is precisely what it is, albeit somewhat tacked on and afterthought-ish. To illustrate this mechanic, in my last playthrough, I assigned Ashe as a Red Mage, Basch as a Foebreaker, and Balthier as a Machinist; Penelo, Vaan, and Fran were assigned as a Red Mage, Shikari, and Time Mage, respectively. Eventually, you can select an additional job board to assign to each character, which can be compared to dual-classing in Dungeons & Dragons or sub-jobbing in Final Fantasy XI. Overall, I appreciate this change since it allows for more guided character role-playing and progression. For instance, I loved the concept of Ashe being a mixed magic/physical attacker with a large greatsword, so I dual-classed her as a Red Mage / Knight to achieve that; in the original release, it would require a lot of planning to figure out the proper path to achieve this specific build, and I would probably end up making her smash stuff with a hammer like everyone else to min-max instead. These license board changes also promote using all six characters more often, since one character cannot do everything as was the case in the original release.

*The License Board, as seen in The Zodiac Age Edition

Now that we understand the overall battle and gameplay mechanics, when do we actually put our mettle to the test and start hitting stuff? This is where we delve into the core gameplay loop of Final Fantasy XII. In many ways, story progression is similar to other Final Fantasy games, where you interact with certain characters, complete specific tasks, defeat enemies, with cutscenes interspersed between these events, all in an effort to advance the plot. However, as mentioned earlier in this review, Final Fantasy XII stands out in a significant way by encouraging you to engage in massive amounts of side content through the game’s “hunt” system. Final Fantasy XII is well aware that it contains a massive world and wants you to explore it — “hunts” are its way of pushing that on the player.

Hunts in Final Fantasy XII are similar to a bounty system where someone posts a bounty on a board, and after reading the bounty, you talk to the petitioner, find the monster, kill it, and bring back proof of your deed to the petitioner for a reward. Typically, hunts are unlocked in a linear fashion after exploring new zones. For instance, after exploring the Giza Plains for the first time, you’ll find the Hunt Board in Rabanastre updated with new hunts for new marks in Giza Plains. In this way, the game encourages you to return to the Giza Plains to complete the new hunts.

*Defeating a hunt mark

All hunts are broken up into “marks” and “elite marks”, which kind of translate to “boss” and “super boss” respectively. Some of the more visually impressive monsters are encountered only by taking up hunts, and some of the best items in the game are obtained from these hunts as well. Therefore, unless you are only rushing through to complete the story, you will want to complete most of the hunts. The typical gameplay loop is as follows: complete story missions involving new zones, return to Rabanastre and check the hunt board, take all new hunts, talk to petitioner for each hunt, then re-explore zones to find and defeat the marks to complete the hunts, then return back to story content, repeat. However, as outlined earlier in this review regarding traveling, this gameplay loop becomes tedious, especially since traveling takes a while back and forth. Additionally, since you must talk to the hunt petitioner after accepting a hunt but BEFORE actually fighting the mark, this adds additional travel time as the petitioner is often located in a different zone.

Take the following example, I would often accept a hunt board request in Rabanastre’s pub, but the petitioner was actually deep in the Estersand. So, I would have to travel through the Estersand, talk to the petitioner, who then tells me the hunt target is in the Sandsea, so I now have to travel through the Sandsea to find the hunt target. After defeating the hunt target, I have to backtrack through the Sandsea to the petitioner to collect my reward. Early on, these trips are fun and welcomed because you’re in the honeymoon phase, but after 60+ hours of playtime, it starts to feel like another job, especially when many of the hunts need to be completed to tackle the actual good hunts that provide endgame rewards. In many ways, this gameplay loop resembles that of an MMORPG, but at least World of Warcraft keeps quest objectives relatively close together.

Moving on from hunts, the Final Fantasy series is known for its robust use of side-quests and mini-games to break up the tedium of normal play. Unfortunately, Final Fantasy XII drops the ball in this respect entirely. Almost all the side-quests are just hunts, which in retrospect, seems like a lazy way to facilitate side-content. Outside of a handful of esoteric side-quests that require a guide to fully complete, there is not much else in terms of side-content going on in the world of Ivalice. This is a shame, as Ivalice is a huge world ripe for deep, engaging stories.

Furthermore, Final Fantasy XII lacks any real mini-games, which is surprising considering the precedent and high bar set by previous games in the series. All despite the presence of airships and chocobos that are ripe for gamification. Often, I found myself growing bored of the repetitive nature of mark hunting and longing for a way to break up the monotony, but there was no way to do this outside of turning the game off. In previous installments, players enjoyed chocobo breeding, chocobo racing, card games, and more, yet in Ivalice we are limited to tedious trivialities such as “match people with similar stories in Archades” or “press A and B to win a potion one time.” It’s truly a travesty — you’ll be doing hunts indefinitely and you’ll like it.

*The dreaded “potion race”; pretty much the extent of the mini-games.

CONCLUSION, or just skip here if you want the quick summary

Final Fantasy XII stands out as a unique addition to the Final Fantasy franchise, but it is not without flaws, much like any other game. Unfortunately, some of these flaws are glaringly obvious, but there are also plenty of enjoyable elements to be found, like diamonds in the rough.

When one thinks of Final Fantasy, the mind usually conjures up images of their favorite beloved characters. Unfortunately, Final Fantasy XII does not feature the most captivating cast in the series’ history. Even the presence of Fran and Balthier cannot compensate for the lackluster cast, which falls seriously short of the standard set by previous entries, particularly when compared to Final Fantasy VII and X. Furthermore, the game lacks a compelling villain to fawn over. The characters fail to captivate on both aesthetic and literary levels, with any semblance of depth only a surface level illusion.

As with the issue of the characters, the overall plot of Final Fantasy XII fails to really hook the player or provoke much thought. Although a few cutscenes, like the final airship scene, are goose-bump inducing cool, there is little else of interest here. The story in general is generic, and the explored themes, such as togetherness, revenge, overcoming adversity, and being part of a whole, are basic and unremarkable. Additionally, there is no room for the sort of wild fan theories found in other Final Fantasy fan communities, such as the ridiculous “Squall is dead” theory or the “Zack is actually Cloud” theory (ok, I made that one up). The point being, Final Fantasy XII’s plot is straightforward and dull, with no mysteries left to engage the player. So, if you’re in it for the story, you might as well back out now.

Setting aside the plot and characters (and the pun), the world-building and overall ambiance of Final Fantasy XII’s setting is outstanding and well worth experiencing at least once. The development team’s dedication to creating a captivating world is evident from the moment the player sets foot in Rabanastre. Hitoshi Sakimoto’s music, while not as instantly catchy as that of Nobuo Uematsu’s, is excellent and complements each area very well. Final Fantasy XII earns top marks for its world design and art direction, even if some in-game cities could have benefited from more development.

A huge plus and another highly recommended aspect of Final Fantasy XII is the battle system. The brilliance of the gambit system is figuring out how to automate every encounter; it’s like Factorio but for weebs. Very much a “love it or hate it” system among the fans; however, this is only because the system is easily misunderstood. Setting up a gambit list that allows you to put the controller down and watch your party defeat a tough opponent is, without question, the coolest aspect of the game — the closest you will ever come to playing God in a JRPG.

Sadly, the overall gameplay loop in Final Fantasy XII isn’t as enjoyable as the battle system. Most of the game entails running back and forth between different locations, often revisiting the same areas multiple times. While there are some fast travel options, it’s just not enough, and ultimately, traveling becomes a dreaded time-sink that gives the player too much time to think about real life (which is a video game NO NO). The Zodiac Edition helps alleviate this issue by introducing a speed-up feature, but no game should have to rely on such a feature to prevent becoming tedious.

In conclusion, Final Fantasy XII should be experienced by all JRPG fans at least once. It contains one of the genre’s most unique battle systems and a beautifully crafted open-world, even if that world is a chore to traverse at times. The plot and characters leave much to be desired, but the overall gameplay is enjoyable for the first 40 hours. If you do play the game, I recommend the Zodiac Age Edition as it ups the resolution, improves the license board system, adds the evil speed up function, and includes a number of other improvements.

Lastly, as a final word of advice that applies not only to Final Fantasy XII but also every computer game ever made: if you start to get bored … turn the game off and do something else.

If you’re not having fun, it’s not worth it.

---

(originally published on 4/17/2023)

#ComputerGames #FinalFantasyXII #Review

spider in corner your universe: my shower splash, apocalypse

#poetry

White Freckles is a psychedelic pop song written by singer-songwriter-multi-instrumentalist-whatever Ariel Pink and co-written by the mysterious Kenny Gilmore, credited for drums, backing vocals, bass, keyboards, engineering, and editing as noted in the liner notes of Ariel Pink’s 2014 album Pom Pom of which White Freckles is the second track.

Before we begin, I encourage you to listen to White Freckles here, and don’t worry, this links to the Internet Archive, so you are doing no favors to Mr. Pink by clicking this link. In addition, the effectiveness of this article is heightened if you are not already familiar with Ariel Pink, but, knowing my audience (all three people or so), that’s probably not going to be the case. Regardless, give White Freckles a listen, preferably all the way through; then come back and start reading from here.

Well, do you hear it? That manic, jerky guitar line alternating between 6/4 and 4/4 over pounding snares? That bass line mirroring the spastic guitar whilst simultaneously managing to sneak in contraband notes between the jerky pauses, all while maintaining the funk? The whole thing sounds like it was captured with a cassette recorder in a bubble dome underwater; and do you hear when the timing sludges out during the verses and Ariel’s vocals come in, alternating between The Human League and some sort of unhinged Madonna impersonator, as if multiple characters are mocking or admiring (you can’t really tell) someone’s application of white-freckle makeup that they may or may not have gotten at the tanning salon? Of course you hear it, it’s White Freckles. All this, mixed with just a hint of cheap-voice-changing robotics and that middle-eight-interlude thing that feels like the music is being fed through a hurricane of lost-media sound effects and then fed through a vacuum cleaner, makes the whole thing sound as if it fell out of an alternate reality wormhole where the 1980s never ended and arcades still bleeped and booped around every corner and Patrick Nagel’s artwork was plastered on every billboard in every city of the world.

White Freckles is maniacal, mathematical, mechanical, memetic, both merry and a little bit maudlin, and just a knock-out masterpiece of a pop song. It’s also kinda silly. Everyone that I’ve played this song to, I’ve caught them, later on, sometimes days later, “do-do-do-do-do”ing or repeating “freckles, freckles, where’d you get those freckles?” as if Ariel himself was inside their brain pulling little levers like a cartoon villain. The music digs in and refuses to budge. You have to excavate it with another song of equal catchiness – and that’s hard to do, because White Freckles is very catchy indeed.

But, despite all that, this article isn’t really about White Freckles – all my homies love White Freckles, that’s not really up for debate.

And while all my homies may love White Freckles, they really fucking hate Ariel Pink – and that’s what this article is actually about.

Now that you’ve listened to White Freckles and read a few paragraphs of me gushing about it, and assuming you liked the song (which this whole shtick kinda hinges on), check out this quote from Ariel Pink.

“I’m so gay for Trump, I would let him fuck me in the butt.” -Ariel Pink (Jan 4, 2021. 1:01:10. some podcast interview)

*they really do

Yes, that’s Ariel Pink on Fox News, talking to Tucker Carlson about how he was “unfairly canceled” for attending the January 6th Trump rally that preceded the storming of the Capitol building. He claims he was there just for a “peaceful rally,” and that despite this, his record label, Mexican Summer, dropped him and he was ostracized from the music industry entirely. “It was cancel culture; the woke mob,” he says. And no, the quote above is not a meme or a joke, Ariel Pink is a huge MAGA guy. He spouts every single talking point verbatim: climate change denial, extreme vaccine skepticism (even though Trump supported and fast-tracked the development of the vaccines initially [source]; one of the many examples illustrating Republicans’ really bad memory and complete lack of principles), and the rest of the whole pantheon of dumb things. Ariel Pink was also accused of physically and sexually abusing his former bandmate and girlfriend, Charlotte Ercoli Coe. And I’m sure you could find more awful stuff on Pink if you went digging for it online.

I’m being kinda flippant about the various charges levied at Ariel Pink here (it’s all a matter of public record, really: every music outlet reported on this, even non-music publications like Variety and the LA Times), because this stuff isn’t actually all that important to the article. We could say that, hypothetically, Ariel Pink tossed puppies off bridges for fun and did all sorts of heinous Judge Holden-like things, if we wanted to. But, outside of these being the reasons that all my homies hate Ariel Pink, the reasons themselves don’t matter all that much. The reasons are not really what I want to write about. We all know that Ariel Pink’s worldview and the accusations surrounding him are capital-N capital-G No Good, and I shouldn’t have to convince anyone otherwise.

What I want to write about is White Freckles. I know, I know I said White Freckles wasn’t really the point of this article, and it’s not. What I really want to write about is the question around White Freckles. That being, you listened to White Freckles, you presumably liked White Freckles, but now that you’ve heard about Ariel Pink and his warped worldview and all the sexual abuse, you probably don’t like White Freckles all that much anymore – do you? You at least like it a little less than you did initially. You probably scrunched up your face and almost gagged at all the MAGA-sexual-abuse stuff, like I did. And that scrunchy-face outrage has been transferred to the music. White Freckles feels like a MAGA song now. But what I’m curious about is, why?

That’s what I want to write about.

The moment Ariel Pink showed up on Tucker Carlson Tonight, I knew that something had changed. I was a loose fan of Ariel Pink before all the accusations and the MAGA stuff, but after that fateful night I didn’t know what to do. The pioneer of hypnagogic pop had betrayed us. The entire fanbase immediately moved against Pink, which was understandable, and suddenly listening to Ariel Pink’s music felt like some sort of tacit admittance that you yourself might maybe just be a MAGA Trump nazi too and that maybe you should be shunned from every platform as well. The same thing happened with Morrissey of The Smiths, after he made racist comments publicly numerous times (another matter of public record); and a similar thing happened with R. Kelly (this one is really bad, look it up); and I’m sure the list goes on. To this day, if you post a link to a Morrissey song – or even The Smiths – on any social media platform, someone is going to reply with some vitriolic comment about Morrissey, and if that vitriolic person was following you before, they probably aren’t following you now because they saw your enjoyment of Interesting Drug as tacit support of Morrissey’s racism. (I can’t dislike Interesting Drug, that rockabilly semi-muted guitar stuff going on at the beginning is just wild.)

Did the quality of White Freckles change because Ariel Pink did something bad years after recording the song? Or was the song always tainted, and I was just a worse person for liking the song back then? And now, upon receiving this new information on Ariel Pink, should I stop liking the song, declare it “bad” just like Ariel Pink is “bad?” (Note, I am using the term “bad” here very loosely; you and I both know that calling music “good” and “bad” is near meaningless because it’s mostly a subjective preference, but I think you know what I am trying to get at here, as we probably hold similar values around most things if you happened to stumble upon this article at all; “bad” in this context means “MAGA-fascist-supporting ideological ruin” or something; you know: bad.) If I continue to like White Freckles, despite knowing this new information, am I somehow supporting Ariel Pink, endorsing and perpetuating his twisted worldview? If so, should I then reevaluate all the music I listen to and all the computer games I play and all the books I read from the lens of “did the creator(s) do something awful in the past and/or do they have politics I don’t agree with?” And, if so, I expect that this list will quickly become unmanageable, plus imagine all the mental effort I would have to expend just to maintain such a list. Something about this line of reasoning feels way off. Clearly the content of the actual song – the composition of the thing – has not changed. White Freckles has, and always will be, White Freckles.

It’s another thing entirely to buy Ariel Pink’s music, or donate to him on Patreon or listen to him on streaming platforms, as all of this supports Ariel Pink directly, and maybe you don’t want to support Ariel Pink. I don’t want to support him either. I pirated all his stuff, downloaded it all on Soulseek. Ariel Pink doesn’t get a penny from me. But there could be a deeper argument here, that even posting this article about Ariel Pink, or gushing about White Freckles, could possibly maybe support Ariel Pink in some roundabout way because someone might read this article and then be inspired to listen to Ariel Pink’s music on a streaming platform or, heaven forbidden, buy one of his records from his Bandcamp or something; and I don’t really have a good counter to that argument other than the fact that I am straight-up saying NO. Do. Not. Do. That. Do not give Ariel Pink money. The bright side (in this specific case, not overall) is that modern music streaming platforms are practically robbing artists anyway, so even if you did listen to Ariel Pink on Spotify – or whatever happens to be the popular streaming zeitgeist at the time of your reading this – you won't be supporting him much at all really.

Here's a stuffy quote from an old dead guy that may or may not have actually existed:

“It does not follow that because a particular work of art succeeds in charming us, its creator also deserves our admiration.” – Plutarch, Greek philosopher and historian

We don't have to like Ariel Pink, in fact, all my homies hate Ariel Pink.

There’s a discussion here about “separating the art from the artist,” and that’s a valid discussion, but it has been beaten to death, resurrected, and beaten to death again, multiple times. I will try to add my own twist on this zombified discussion, but I’m sure whatever I write here has already been written elsewhere. There’s an almost supernatural element to human creation; everything I write just kinda comes out and I can’t reproduce it later on; once the art has been released by the artist, it takes on a life of its own; the art, once birthed, becomes both solidified and open to interpretation, a state of contradictory flux; an artist's work can even be used against the artist later on in the event that the artist abandons previously held values. Artists can change, but the art itself cannot. And our interpretation of art can change, but the art itself is unchanging. The Mona Lisa will always be the Mona Lisa. Ariel Pink could rerecord White Freckles and add several MAGA verses, but that would not be White Freckles anymore; that would be the rerecorded MAGA-version of White Freckles, and I would not like or support that version.

We don't have to like Ariel Pink. We can refuse to support Ariel Pink while simultaneously loving White Freckles. We shouldn’t let Ariel Pink take White Freckles from us. We shouldn’t give him that much power.

#Music #ArielPink #Ethics #Essay

what are these holes in the sand where do they come from who makes them and

is there a man with a pencil poking little holes

or small people racing placing little goals

are they footprints left from gnome strolls

maybe the sand is needed for a wizard’s scroll

could be faeries dancing around invisible poles

i turn to my father but he says no he says he's too busy he's on his phone

#poetry

“Just a few drinks.”

If I drink to fit in, did I ever fit in to begin with? Everyone thinks I'm so funny when I'm drunk; yet they're confused the morning after, “why are you so quiet,man?”

“I only drink to be social.”

“Inanimate glass bottles and tin cans do not control my behavior.”

“I am in control of my own destiny.”

Does alcohol unlock aspects of you or seal them away to be imbibed later?

#handwritten #notes

DEBATER 1: “And, you know, we knock on wood, wherever we may have wood, that I’m in very good health. I just won two club championships, not even senior, two regular club championships. To do that, you have to be quite smart and you have to be able to hit the ball a long way. And I do it. He doesn’t do it. He can’t hit a ball 50 yards. He challenged me to a golf match. He can’t hit a ball 50 yards.”

DEBATER 2: “Well, anyway, that’s – anyway, just take a look at what he says he is and take a look at what he is. Look, I’d be happy to have a driving contest with him. I got my handicap, which, when I was vice president, down to a 6. And by the way, I told you before I’m happy to play golf if you carry your own bag. Think you can do it?”

DEBATER 1: “That’s the biggest lie that he’s a 6 handicap, of all.”

DEBATER 2: “I was 8 handicap.”

DEBATER 1: “Yeah.”

DEBATER 2: “Eight, but I have – you know how many…”

DEBATER 1: “I’ve seen your swing, I know your swing.”

#handwritten #notes

(Note: This article was written in 2008 for an old Blogspot music blog that I managed (flyingairplane.blogspot.com); meaning, I was 18 years old when I wrote this. The blog's format was such that each article contained a short “review” of an album and a download link to the full album (usually through Mediafire). Blogspot was a go-to source for obscure music back in 2008, with many blogs like this popping up with download links, and I wanted to be part of the illegal-music-download literati myself. Unfortunately, this blatant violation of copyright eventually caught up with the blog (and most others of its ilk) and got it removed from the Blogspot service entirely; however, the first page of the blog remains archived through the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine.)

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Felt's “Poem of the River” is the follow up album to “Forever Breathes the Lonely Word”. It's pretty, shimmering, and slow... and I mean really slow. Out of the six songs on this album there's not one that instantly catches my attention, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It's a nice album to play while you're doing other things, very peaceful and soothing... but that's the most I can say about it.

#music #felt

(Note: This article was written in 2008 for an old Blogspot music blog that I managed (flyingairplane.blogspot.com); meaning, I was 18 years old when I wrote this. The blog's format was such that each article contained a short “review” of an album and a download link to the full album (usually through Mediafire). Blogspot was a go-to source for obscure music back in 2008, with many blogs like this popping up with download links, and I wanted to be part of the illegal-music-download literati myself. Unfortunately, this blatant violation of copyright eventually caught up with the blog (and most others of its ilk) and got it removed from the Blogspot service entirely; however, the first page of the blog remains archived through the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine.)

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If you haven't noticed, Felt is one of my favorite bands... that explains why I'm uploading every Felt album (besides The Splendour of Fear, because I bought it off iTunes and can't find it anywhere else.) With that being said... on with the review of The Pictorial Jackson Review. To make it short and sweet, The Pictorial Jackson Review is a great album. I can listen to it all the way through, hum the lyrics, and even occasionally dance along with it while playing air guitar or air keyboard. In my opinion, this album is the definition of a pop album. Lawrence obviously aimed to make a pop album with this one, and since Lawrence is so quirky, he even added two completely instrumental tracks at the end of the album (one being twelve minutes long) just to fuck with our heads. In addition to that, just to add, the guitar in the song Don't Die On My Doorstep* sounds eerily similar to the guitar in the song Centerfold by the J Geils Band, I don't know if anyone else noticed that. In conclusion, The Pictorial Jackson Review is a great poppy record... it's quirky, witty, funny at times, and overall very upbeat (if you ignore the last two tracks, which aren't bad, but they're just not exactly 'upbeat'.) To me, the record records Felt evolving from the music they once made (Strange Idols, Ignite, Forever Breathes, etc.) A Felt fan can probably tell that Lawrence (and the rest of the band, I suppose) tried to take a different approach to song writing this time around, and although it's not altogether perfect, it's still a stellar record. The last two tracks foreshadow what Felt's next album (Trains Above the City) would sound like, and the rest of the album foreshadows what Felt's final album (Me and a Monkey on the Moon) would sound like. Also, Lawrence sings a bit more melodically on this album, making him sound sort of like a young Lou Reed... or an older Lou Reed impersonator.

#music #felt

(Note: This article was written in 2008 for an old Blogspot music blog that I managed (flyingairplane.blogspot.com); meaning, I was 18 years old when I wrote this. The blog's format was such that each article contained a short “review” of an album and a download link to the full album (usually through Mediafire). Blogspot was a go-to source for obscure music back in 2008, with many blogs like this popping up with download links, and I wanted to be part of the illegal-music-download literati myself. Unfortunately, this blatant violation of copyright eventually caught up with the blog (and most others of its ilk) and got it removed from the Blogspot service entirely; however, the first page of the blog remains archived through the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine.)

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I guess Lawrence was just bored, or maybe he was working on other things… but Train Above the City is entirely not composed by Lawrence. I suppose Martin Duffy composed the music, since it seems that Martin Duffy is perhaps the only musician who played on this album. The funny thing is, Lawrence named all of the songs, and brilliantly I might add: Press Softly on the Breaks Holly, Teargardens, Book of Swords, etc. Firstly, the music is mediocre at best. I'm not going to lie and say “best Felt album!” just because Lawrence declared it his favorite in some lo-fi interview. The whole album is instrumental; every song is a little piano ditty that makes you feel like you're in a bar full of old hipsters drinking martinis and what not. Perhaps Lawrence just thought that releasing this album would have been a clever thing to do. I mean, it's obvious that Lawrence was trying to maintain indie stardom… and perhaps “Forever Breathes the Lonely Word” and “The Pictorial Jackson Review” was making Felt a little bit too popular for his liking…

#Music #Felt